Empathy; It can be defined briefly as understanding someone else’s emotions, their current situation and how they feel. In addition, empathy is used to mean projecting your own feelings onto other objects. The word, which appears with the definition of the ability of the person to understand the feelings, thoughts and desires of the consciousness without trying, by putting himself in the place of another consciousness, is explained with many different expressions. When we look at the definition of this word whose origin is French, we come across the word empathy. In short; There is no general definition of empathy. Moreover, when we look at the sources, we encounter different definitions of empathy, which proves this situation.
There are three basic rules that are necessary for empathy to occur. It is the person who puts himself in the position of the other person, looks at the events from his perspective, understands the feelings and thoughts of the other person correctly and shows that he understands that person. Well, can anyone empathize? Or let me ask like this. Does everyone have the ability to empathize?
As a matter of fact, yes! Everyone is more or less capable of empathy. Just how much this skill is used varies. Research on babies also proves this proposition to be true. Because it is claimed that our innate empathy ability is high. But the high level of empathy is lost to being used over time. Like a muscle that is not exercised, the ability to empathize melts away. That’s why I think we should look for ways to improve empathy, let’s stop developing it, at least we should learn to use it.
First of all, I want to say that the ability to empathize is innate. In other words; We can empathize even when we are a tiny baby. In the growth phase, we develop this innate ability by looking at the behavior of those around us and taking them as an example. The process of developing empathy that started with our parents continues with the people around us and what we see and hear. At this point, some use the ability to empathize constantly, while others fail to grasp how important this skill is. In other words; The ways to gain empathy, also known as empathy, are not used.
For example; In order to understand the feelings, thoughts and wishes of the other person, open-ended questions are not asked. I mean questions that start with words like “how, why, why”. Let’s say your coworker says he can’t come to work tomorrow because he’s feeling bad. And instead of asking him why, you say it with something like “hmm, get well soon.” Or when your spouse says something like “I don’t want – I want this”, you say to your spouse ok or not, but for some reason you don’t try to find out the reason. Because you don’t want to use your empathy. You run away for easy or superficial things, you do not understand how important it is to empathize in order to communicate correctly.
In addition to all of these, we know that the basis of empathy is to understand the other side. In short; To empathize, one needs to understand the other side. For this, there is a condition of being a good listener. After all; Without listening to what the other person is trying to say, you cannot understand his true thoughts. So, in order to empathize, we need to be a good listener, increase our awareness, show that we understand it, make it clearer with comments and really put ourselves in the other party’s shoes. Otherwise, we cannot complete the empathy process correctly.
What Are the Benefits of Empathizing?
Empathy has a number of different benefits. And the most important of these is the ability to communicate correctly. Correct communication is also a skill that will make a positive contribution to the person in every way. Empathy, which will facilitate people’s lives in every field, from their success in business life to their personal relationships and social environment, is one of the keys to peace, prosperity and happiness both among individuals and societies.
Empathy also frees you from selfishness. It allows you to be a sensitive person and spend your life as a much more peaceful and happy person. You will understand the other person better and you will be more successful in your social relationships. It really takes an effort to understand people and you can help people more. You will be able to deal with your own and other people’s problems intelligently and start to think more solution-oriented. You become loved and respected in society. In addition to all these; empathy takes you away from negative thoughts.
Empathy Example
Imagine that You met a friend and he told you how upset he was. Then he talked about almost all of his troubles, from the argument he had with his lover to his problems with his parents. In such a situation, in order to empathize, you have to be careful not to be affected by their mood and not to let negative thoughts hold you back. Otherwise, while you should give morale to your friend, you will make him darker and harm instead of benefit.
What you need to do is to explain that you understand him, that you are trying to understand how difficult he is, but that he will not come to a conclusion. You should also find a solution to his problem by putting yourself in his shoes and offer alternative solutions to his problems. Only in this way will you show empathy.
In this article, we gave information about empathy that will make a great contribution to you and your environment in daily life. As long as you empathize in a measured way, you will stay in peace in order to make yourself and your loved ones happy in the face of daily problems.
One Stranger
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